Originally written 11/21/11
Today I am so grateful for the plan of our Heavenly Father that allows us to have a knowledge of our life before and after this life. With the loss of my Dad and the losses that have followed, I have gained a greater understanding and testimony of this great principle. How grateful that i am to know that I will be able to be with my Dad again and live with him through eternity. What a great blessing.
Some of the losses that I've learned from recently:
Losing my Dad: This was the one that has changed my life the most. I love my Dad so much and will miss having him close by. He's no longer a phone call away, but I know that I can find peace and feel his presence when I go to the temple and I can feel the peace of the Holy Ghost when I'm really struggling and missing Dad.
Losing Robert: My sweet Aunt Nanette (I think she's technically a second cousin) lost her husband Robert from the same thing that took my Dad. Hardening of the arteries. And neither of them even knew there was a problem. This makes me realize how we should never take our health for granted. We never even supposed that we would have another death in the family so shortly after my Dad. My thoughts and prayers continue to go with my family and Robert's as well.
A Co-worker's brother: This was a very sad one. He committed suicide. This reminds me how important the people around us are and how sometimes we have to look for people that are hurting. It's not always obvious when there are challenges. We have to be aware of those around us and be looking for signs that they might need something we can give them. Never take anyone in your life for granted. They might not always be there.
Brother Kent Thatcher: He was in the bishopric of my singles ward through about six years. What a happy, kind and loving man. He fought the battle with pancreatic cancer for 8 months before he passed. The funeral was beautiful and all of his children spoke about the plan of salvation. So grateful that we have that knowledge that families can be sealed forever.
Little Andre: Sweet little Andre was only here for four days and touched many lives in so many different ways. This loss helps to remind us how brief life really can be. It also reminds us that we are not in charge and that doctors can't solve everything. God is in charge and whatever He decides it what goes.
So many losses in such a short period of time. So much grief and sorrow. So many tears of sadness have been shed and even continue to be shed. There will be many happy reunions in the next life and we just have to figure out how to keep pressing forward in this one. I will miss my Dad until the day that I see him again, but I make it through knowing that I WILL see him again. He is not gone forever. He's just a little farther than he was before.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Music
Originally written 11/21/11
I will begin by making a disclaimer here: This is a long post. I wrote it mostly for me, so don't feel that you have to read the whole thing. It's probably not that interesting anyway.
The blessing of music in my life has been one of the things I'm most grateful for. Music can match any mood, whether to bring you further down or raise you higher up. Singing is a great outlet for me to share the emotions that are inside of me. I also love how an uplifting song can bring my soul out of the depths of despair too.
I'm so grateful that I have been blessed with a musical ability. It has changed my life so many times over. When I was a little girl, I have heard stories about how I would go around singing all the time. My Aunt Diane tells of how she would stick me on the coffee table and have me sing "Meet Me in St. Louis" for her mom. I was not shy back then. I also remember walking through the grocery store with my mom. I would be singing the jingles of all the products I could think of. I had ulterior motives to this. I wasn't just singing because I loved to sing. No, I was singing jingles because I was certain that my talent would be discovered and that I would be the next little face for Oscar Mayer . Silly? Maybe. But at least I was shooting for the stars, right?
Over the years, I have had the opportunity to sing with many different groups and for many different reasons. In high school, I had an experience that would change the way I felt about my talent. I auditioned for the A Capella group (300 students). I had a pretty good relationship with the choir director because I had been in his mixed choir and also the bell choir. I was upset to find out that I hadn't made the A Capella and asked him about it. He simply told me that I had no singing ability. All the confidence I had gained were lost then and there. I didn't want to sing around other people anymore. I still loved to sing, but questioned my ability. Had people been lying to me all those years? Was I like one of those people that auditions for American Idol being totally clueless that they are horrendous? Needless to say, I was devastated.
I would still do group choirs and ward choir from that point on, but I never tried to do anything solo because I had no talent. I didn't want people to know, so I just hid behind others. Then I met Teresa. She was an angel. Teresa directed a choir that I joined. She was also the director of "The Sound of Music" that I had the privilege to be in. Teresa brought out that spark in me again. She helped me to see what I was capable of and pushed me to the limits and beyond. I will never forget when I told her that I couldn't do something and she told me that I was more amazing than I knew and that God had blessed me with something great. She helped me to see that there are endless possibilities with God as our partner. I had always known that, but had failed to believe it was true for ME. Well, I think you know what I mean.
So, what am I doing now with music, you may wonder? I am currently singing with a group called Because We Also Sing, which is a mixed chorus just for the Christmas season. In the spring, I will sing with We Also sing, which is a women's chorus. Both choirs are under the direction of Merrilee Webb and she is amazing. She teaches at Dixie in St. George and comes up on the weekend so she can direct the choir. My life has been changed by the music and by the experience of singing with these great choirs. I have also learned a lot through the spirit that the music brings.
I can't believe how long it took me to get back into singing this time around, but I am so grateful that I have an outlet for my music once again. I will end by sharing some of the words to a beautiful song called "The Melody Within", which was written by Kurt Bestor for the movie Rigoletto.
Music boxes have within,melodies they carry with them,
Once they open music fills the air.
Every person you have known,has a song all their own,
Once they open up you'll hear whats there.
It's not easy you must listen with your heart for what lies hidden.
There was a melody, locked deep inside of me
But now its free, it found a place embraced by harmony, sweet harmony,
Love more than anything teaches our hearts to sing,
Only love, could break the spell,
Now I know, very well,
The love within myself.
It's true that each person has a melody inside of them. I'm so grateful that mine is finally getting out again. Music truly is a wonderful and powerful thing. I can allow it to drag me down by listening to music that is negative, or I can be raised up by music that is positive and uplifting. I choose the second of the two.
4/11/12 So, singing with Because We Also Sing for Christmas was lots of fun and I'm glad that i did it because Merrilee said that she will probably not be doing the mixed chorus again.
We are now back into We Also Sing rehearsals and have a concert at the Tabernacle 5/11/12. I'm pretty excited for that concert and I love that we also do a recording prior to the concert as well.
Something else exciting: The day after our concert, I'm going to China. With Merrilee and her choir from Dixie State College. I. AM. SO. EXCITED!!!! There will be more to follow about that.
I will begin by making a disclaimer here: This is a long post. I wrote it mostly for me, so don't feel that you have to read the whole thing. It's probably not that interesting anyway.
The blessing of music in my life has been one of the things I'm most grateful for. Music can match any mood, whether to bring you further down or raise you higher up. Singing is a great outlet for me to share the emotions that are inside of me. I also love how an uplifting song can bring my soul out of the depths of despair too.
I'm so grateful that I have been blessed with a musical ability. It has changed my life so many times over. When I was a little girl, I have heard stories about how I would go around singing all the time. My Aunt Diane tells of how she would stick me on the coffee table and have me sing "Meet Me in St. Louis" for her mom. I was not shy back then. I also remember walking through the grocery store with my mom. I would be singing the jingles of all the products I could think of. I had ulterior motives to this. I wasn't just singing because I loved to sing. No, I was singing jingles because I was certain that my talent would be discovered and that I would be the next little face for Oscar Mayer . Silly? Maybe. But at least I was shooting for the stars, right?
Over the years, I have had the opportunity to sing with many different groups and for many different reasons. In high school, I had an experience that would change the way I felt about my talent. I auditioned for the A Capella group (300 students). I had a pretty good relationship with the choir director because I had been in his mixed choir and also the bell choir. I was upset to find out that I hadn't made the A Capella and asked him about it. He simply told me that I had no singing ability. All the confidence I had gained were lost then and there. I didn't want to sing around other people anymore. I still loved to sing, but questioned my ability. Had people been lying to me all those years? Was I like one of those people that auditions for American Idol being totally clueless that they are horrendous? Needless to say, I was devastated.
I would still do group choirs and ward choir from that point on, but I never tried to do anything solo because I had no talent. I didn't want people to know, so I just hid behind others. Then I met Teresa. She was an angel. Teresa directed a choir that I joined. She was also the director of "The Sound of Music" that I had the privilege to be in. Teresa brought out that spark in me again. She helped me to see what I was capable of and pushed me to the limits and beyond. I will never forget when I told her that I couldn't do something and she told me that I was more amazing than I knew and that God had blessed me with something great. She helped me to see that there are endless possibilities with God as our partner. I had always known that, but had failed to believe it was true for ME. Well, I think you know what I mean.
So, what am I doing now with music, you may wonder? I am currently singing with a group called Because We Also Sing, which is a mixed chorus just for the Christmas season. In the spring, I will sing with We Also sing, which is a women's chorus. Both choirs are under the direction of Merrilee Webb and she is amazing. She teaches at Dixie in St. George and comes up on the weekend so she can direct the choir. My life has been changed by the music and by the experience of singing with these great choirs. I have also learned a lot through the spirit that the music brings.
I can't believe how long it took me to get back into singing this time around, but I am so grateful that I have an outlet for my music once again. I will end by sharing some of the words to a beautiful song called "The Melody Within", which was written by Kurt Bestor for the movie Rigoletto.
Music boxes have within,melodies they carry with them,
Once they open music fills the air.
Every person you have known,has a song all their own,
Once they open up you'll hear whats there.
It's not easy you must listen with your heart for what lies hidden.
There was a melody, locked deep inside of me
But now its free, it found a place embraced by harmony, sweet harmony,
Love more than anything teaches our hearts to sing,
Only love, could break the spell,
Now I know, very well,
The love within myself.
It's true that each person has a melody inside of them. I'm so grateful that mine is finally getting out again. Music truly is a wonderful and powerful thing. I can allow it to drag me down by listening to music that is negative, or I can be raised up by music that is positive and uplifting. I choose the second of the two.
4/11/12 So, singing with Because We Also Sing for Christmas was lots of fun and I'm glad that i did it because Merrilee said that she will probably not be doing the mixed chorus again.
We are now back into We Also Sing rehearsals and have a concert at the Tabernacle 5/11/12. I'm pretty excited for that concert and I love that we also do a recording prior to the concert as well.
Something else exciting: The day after our concert, I'm going to China. With Merrilee and her choir from Dixie State College. I. AM. SO. EXCITED!!!! There will be more to follow about that.
Friday, November 18, 2011
#14 The Kindness of a Stranger
I wrote this on 11/14 and never posted it, so I figured I may as well post it.
When I left work at the hospital today, I came upon a very flat tire. Darn it! I only have 30 minutes between jobs and I was already running behind in leaving. So, I sat in the parking lot in my skirt and WHITE sweater and started loosening the lug nuts and doing the "change your tire" thing.
One man saw me and came over to offer help. I thought "yay" until he told me he couldn't really use his arm due to a shoulder injury(we ARE at the hospital after all). He must have told another man about the tire issue on his way in to the hospital because a really nice gentleman came and offered assistance. He had that tire changed so much faster than I would have. I COULD have and WOULD have done it because I know how to change tires, but today I am grateful for other people that go out of their way to give seemingly small acts of service that make all the difference. Thanks John!!!
Follow up: The following day, Matt took the car in to get the tire fixed/replaced and found out that the tire was in bad condition. They told him it would have blown on the freeway and could have caused an accident if I had been driving around on it any more than I had. Thank heavens for small miracles. I'm so grateful that it was just flat in the parking lot and that nothing terrible happened. I'd rather be 15 minutes late for work than have a horrible accident.
When I left work at the hospital today, I came upon a very flat tire. Darn it! I only have 30 minutes between jobs and I was already running behind in leaving. So, I sat in the parking lot in my skirt and WHITE sweater and started loosening the lug nuts and doing the "change your tire" thing.
One man saw me and came over to offer help. I thought "yay" until he told me he couldn't really use his arm due to a shoulder injury(we ARE at the hospital after all). He must have told another man about the tire issue on his way in to the hospital because a really nice gentleman came and offered assistance. He had that tire changed so much faster than I would have. I COULD have and WOULD have done it because I know how to change tires, but today I am grateful for other people that go out of their way to give seemingly small acts of service that make all the difference. Thanks John!!!
Follow up: The following day, Matt took the car in to get the tire fixed/replaced and found out that the tire was in bad condition. They told him it would have blown on the freeway and could have caused an accident if I had been driving around on it any more than I had. Thank heavens for small miracles. I'm so grateful that it was just flat in the parking lot and that nothing terrible happened. I'd rather be 15 minutes late for work than have a horrible accident.
Friday, November 4, 2011
#4 Eye Makeup Remover
Seriously, I know this may sound lame, but I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my new eye makeup remover. I can take off all of my eye makeup (including mascara and eyeliner) in 10-20 seconds without tugging or rubbing. It's amazing! Mary Kay Oil-Free Eye Makeup Remover. I can't believe I didn't find this before becoming a MK consultant. Anyone who enjoys wearing makeup should try this stuff out. And a bottle lasts FOREVER too, so it's worth the $.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
#3 A Warm and Cozy Bed
Well, I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. I love having a nice cozy bed to crawl into at the end of a long day when I'm exhausted. Even more so now that the weather is getting cold so fast. I'm not ready for the winter to be upon us, but at least I have a warm and cozy bed to fall into.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
#2 My Better Half
Marrying Matt is one of the best decisions that I have ever made in my entire life. He truly is my better half. He is so kind, generous, loving and patient with me.
I love him for the person that he is and the man that he is continually striving to become. He is an amazing husband and will be a fabulous father one day.
I am so grateful that Matt is strong in the Gospel and that he is always striving to serve others and live what he believes.
The last four and a half years have been amazing and I am so grateful that I get to spend the rest of eternity with my sweet Matt.
Thanks sweetie for the fabulous four years we've shared and the many more to come.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Gratitude
So, I decided that for the month of November, I'm going to blog every day about something that I am thankful for. That way, I can look at the blessings that I have been given and focus on the positive in my life. I begin with a disclaimer that these are not in any particular order nor does the order have anything to do with how important they are to me. I just want to do things that I'm grateful for.......
So, with that said,
I am blessed to have the amazing parents that I have. Never were there better people. They love unconditionally and welcome others with open arms. They are supportive and loving and have been the best examples to me of how I want to become and also how I want my marriage to be. Anyone that is blessed to know my parents understands to some extent what I mean.
I was blessed to have my Dad here for 31 years of my life and I will miss him terribly until I see him again. He taught me how to work, love and so many other things. My Mom continues to teach me about love, friendship, compassion and so many other things. I can't even begin to put into words how amazing my parents are.
And like the 2000 stripling warriors, I have never doubted my parents knew it. My testimony started because of theirs and continues to grow. I am so grateful for their wonderful examples to me and everyone else that has been blessed to know them or who will get to know them.
So, with that said,
#1 The best parents in the whole wide world (no, I am NOT biased)
I am blessed to have the amazing parents that I have. Never were there better people. They love unconditionally and welcome others with open arms. They are supportive and loving and have been the best examples to me of how I want to become and also how I want my marriage to be. Anyone that is blessed to know my parents understands to some extent what I mean.
I was blessed to have my Dad here for 31 years of my life and I will miss him terribly until I see him again. He taught me how to work, love and so many other things. My Mom continues to teach me about love, friendship, compassion and so many other things. I can't even begin to put into words how amazing my parents are.
And like the 2000 stripling warriors, I have never doubted my parents knew it. My testimony started because of theirs and continues to grow. I am so grateful for their wonderful examples to me and everyone else that has been blessed to know them or who will get to know them.
Friday, October 28, 2011
A New Kitchen
I wish I could say a new kitchen is what I got, but it's really what I want. I keep seeing all these cute baking projects that I would love to try, but I have one big problem: my kitchen has NO ROOM. The counter space that I have barely fits the microwave, toaster and dish drainer. How can I motivate myself to bake with such limited space? I want to do cookie plates and goodies for neighbors every year and I talk myself out of it because of the lack of space. Sometimes I use the table, but even that is pretty small.
I wonder if any of my neighbors would be willing to "rent" me their kitchen for a day or two. I mean, that's not quite the same as asking to borrow a cup of sugar..... I just have a baking bug and it's being suppressed. So what do I do? Any suggestions would be welcome.
Most of the fun baking projects are ones that I see on my Mom's blog: http://justhelen.typepad.com. You should definitely check out her blog. She is so talented in every idea and you will find fabulous ideas for baking, scrapbooking, and just be inspired by her words. So, visit her website and know that those cute things are some of the things I would do if I had the space. And to all of my neighbors- see the cute things I was hoping to bring you?
I wonder if any of my neighbors would be willing to "rent" me their kitchen for a day or two. I mean, that's not quite the same as asking to borrow a cup of sugar..... I just have a baking bug and it's being suppressed. So what do I do? Any suggestions would be welcome.
Most of the fun baking projects are ones that I see on my Mom's blog: http://justhelen.typepad.com. You should definitely check out her blog. She is so talented in every idea and you will find fabulous ideas for baking, scrapbooking, and just be inspired by her words. So, visit her website and know that those cute things are some of the things I would do if I had the space. And to all of my neighbors- see the cute things I was hoping to bring you?
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Fun Mail
When I got home yesterday, there was a big, fat envelope waiting for me. Well, it wasn't THAT big, and not REALLY fat, but it was more than I usually get. Anyway.....inside it held something fabulous. My tickets have arrived for Time Out For Women in St. George, Utah to be held November 11-12. I have been counting down the days to go and having the tickets here means it's getting close. YAY!!!!
For those of you that don't know what TOFW means, it's a two day escape for women. Most of the time, the speakers are LDS and they share beutiful messages that are uplifting and encouraging. There are several speakers and musical artists over the two days and they all talk about things that I ususally need to hear.
One of the best things about going to TOFW is that I get to spend time with my Mom, my sister Megan, Grandma, seven fabulous aunts and really good friends. I don't get to see my family enough, so I'm grateful to be able to have this time away to just be with them. Last year there were ten of us and it was tons of fun. This time there will be 14 in our group and it will be wonderful! I love my family!! 15 days until I'm with all the fabulous women.......
So, that's why my envelope that arrived is so fun and exciting. It means a good time with amazing women is right around the corner......
For those of you that don't know what TOFW means, it's a two day escape for women. Most of the time, the speakers are LDS and they share beutiful messages that are uplifting and encouraging. There are several speakers and musical artists over the two days and they all talk about things that I ususally need to hear.
One of the best things about going to TOFW is that I get to spend time with my Mom, my sister Megan, Grandma, seven fabulous aunts and really good friends. I don't get to see my family enough, so I'm grateful to be able to have this time away to just be with them. Last year there were ten of us and it was tons of fun. This time there will be 14 in our group and it will be wonderful! I love my family!! 15 days until I'm with all the fabulous women.......
So, that's why my envelope that arrived is so fun and exciting. It means a good time with amazing women is right around the corner......
Monday, October 24, 2011
Intention
"To be always intending to make a new and better life but never to find time to set about it is as...to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until you're dead."
~ Og Mandino
I was just reading through some things online and came across this quote. It made me stop and think about what I'm doing with my life. I have tried both sides of this equation. Matt and I found the time to get debt under control and have seen the benefits in many ways. Had we not made the decision and stuck to it, we could have paid off in 5-10 years what we paid off in about 18 months.
I have also seen myself stick more on the "intending" side of the equation as well. I've seen this in the health department for sure. I always want to get healthier and start on the right track but give up on my goal and myself. I have done this with good intentions to read my scriptures every day and to journal at least once in a while. Let's just say I'm good at starting, but not so good at finishing. This "intending" side of the equation is a terrible one to be on.
So I have decided that it's time to make some changes and I want to hold myself accountable. Therefore, I am going to blog about these changes and hopefully I can truly make the changes that I want to see.
At the Mary Kay Fall Camp I went to a couple weekends ago, I heard something very interesting. The root word of decide is -cide. A few other things that have the same root are suicide, homicide, pesticide. So, -cide means to kill off. When you decide, you have to kill off all other options. That means if i decide to get in better physical shape, I have to kill of the things that would keep me from doing so. If I decide I want to pay off more of Matt's student loans, I have to kill off anything that might keep me from doing that (i.e. eating out, buying things I don't need).
I am putting this out here mostly so I can hold myself accountable, but also in case anyone wants to be my cheerleader. If you don't want to be my cheerleader though, keep your thoughts to yourself because I will have to "kill off" the things that get in my way. This doesn't mean I am threatening to kill anyone, but that I'm willing to "kill off" relationships that may be toxic to me.
So, that being said, I am going to state the changes that I will be making:
1. I will go to the gym at least three times a week.
2. I will eat 3-4 servings of fruits/vegetables every day.
3. I will read my scriptures every day.
4. I will blog or journal at least once a week.
I'm sure there are plenty more things that I SHOULD be doing, but this is where I'm starting. Hurray for DECIDING to make a change and killing off all other options......
~ Og Mandino
I was just reading through some things online and came across this quote. It made me stop and think about what I'm doing with my life. I have tried both sides of this equation. Matt and I found the time to get debt under control and have seen the benefits in many ways. Had we not made the decision and stuck to it, we could have paid off in 5-10 years what we paid off in about 18 months.
I have also seen myself stick more on the "intending" side of the equation as well. I've seen this in the health department for sure. I always want to get healthier and start on the right track but give up on my goal and myself. I have done this with good intentions to read my scriptures every day and to journal at least once in a while. Let's just say I'm good at starting, but not so good at finishing. This "intending" side of the equation is a terrible one to be on.
So I have decided that it's time to make some changes and I want to hold myself accountable. Therefore, I am going to blog about these changes and hopefully I can truly make the changes that I want to see.
At the Mary Kay Fall Camp I went to a couple weekends ago, I heard something very interesting. The root word of decide is -cide. A few other things that have the same root are suicide, homicide, pesticide. So, -cide means to kill off. When you decide, you have to kill off all other options. That means if i decide to get in better physical shape, I have to kill of the things that would keep me from doing so. If I decide I want to pay off more of Matt's student loans, I have to kill off anything that might keep me from doing that (i.e. eating out, buying things I don't need).
I am putting this out here mostly so I can hold myself accountable, but also in case anyone wants to be my cheerleader. If you don't want to be my cheerleader though, keep your thoughts to yourself because I will have to "kill off" the things that get in my way. This doesn't mean I am threatening to kill anyone, but that I'm willing to "kill off" relationships that may be toxic to me.
So, that being said, I am going to state the changes that I will be making:
1. I will go to the gym at least three times a week.
2. I will eat 3-4 servings of fruits/vegetables every day.
3. I will read my scriptures every day.
4. I will blog or journal at least once a week.
I'm sure there are plenty more things that I SHOULD be doing, but this is where I'm starting. Hurray for DECIDING to make a change and killing off all other options......
Sunday, October 23, 2011
My New Endeavor
So, about a month and a half ago, I started my own business. I am now an independent consultant with Mary Kay. For anyone that knows me, this may seem awfully humorous. I have not been one to get dressed up and wear makeup up to this point. And now I'm going to be selling skin care products and makeup.
Why did I start this, you ask? Well, it's an easy response: Heavenly Father let me know it was the right thing to be doing at this time in my life. Now I am getting dressed up and wearing makeup all the time. It's still going to take some getting used to, but I feel better when I feel like I'm looking good.
Along with the new endeavor have also come a fair share of challenges. I'm trying to be strong and go forward with faith, but my confidence is not where it needs to be. I guess that I just need to rely on my Heavenly Father and have faith that He can show me the way to accomplish my goals within my business. This will be the way that I can continue on with my two main goals. The first is to get a headstone for my Dad so he's not resting in an unmarked grave. The second is so that Matt and I will be able to adopt and start our own little family.
So, a new chapter of life has begun and change is on the wind.......
Why did I start this, you ask? Well, it's an easy response: Heavenly Father let me know it was the right thing to be doing at this time in my life. Now I am getting dressed up and wearing makeup all the time. It's still going to take some getting used to, but I feel better when I feel like I'm looking good.
Along with the new endeavor have also come a fair share of challenges. I'm trying to be strong and go forward with faith, but my confidence is not where it needs to be. I guess that I just need to rely on my Heavenly Father and have faith that He can show me the way to accomplish my goals within my business. This will be the way that I can continue on with my two main goals. The first is to get a headstone for my Dad so he's not resting in an unmarked grave. The second is so that Matt and I will be able to adopt and start our own little family.
So, a new chapter of life has begun and change is on the wind.......
Thursday, August 11, 2011
The Past Month
This past month has been a very tough month for me. July 11, 2011 started like any Monday normally might for me. But that morning brought along with it the worst news I had ever received in my life.
My Dad had passed away.
Matt showed up at my work to tell me to call Megan immediately and that something had happened to Dad while at scout camp. I called her and from the partial story that she had, found out that the other leader with Dad’s troop had found him unconscious.
I left work and went home to pack quickly because I knew I was going to California no matter what the outcome. I HAD to be with my family. I prayed that I would be able to see my Dad sitting up and complaining that he wanted to go home from the hospital.
Nothing could have prepared me for the two little words that would change my life forever. My sister, Megan, called me shortly after I got home. She simply said, “He’s gone.” I collapsed to the floor in uncontrollable sobs. Meg and I cried together for a few minutes before she continued making calls. I made a few calls as well.
I don’t know how Megan handled all the phone calls. First, to tell them that he was being rushed to the hospital. Then, to call back and let everyone know that he was gone. I could barely breathe, let alone speak.
I won’t go into a lot of detail about all the things that happened between getting the news and the funeral in this post. Suffice it to say that the next couple weeks were a big blur. Lots of tears, hugs, love, a few laughs, more tears, hugs, headaches, tears….. But I will try to focus on the MEMORIES. So many people had amazing and wonderful things to say about Dad. How could they not? He was an amazing person. No, he IS an amazing person.
I am so grateful for the knowledge I have that I will see him again. My Superman. My Daddy. He lives on. I just have to continue without him physically here at this time. Life will continue to throw the tough things that it always throws at us. But my perspective is totally changed. Nothing seems quite so bad when something of this magnitude happens.
I love my family and am so grateful for all of the support that they give to me. That is one thing I feel most blessed by in my life. We all get along with each other. We genuinely love and care about one another. My Mom and Dad have always been great examples to me of being loving individuals. I learned all of my good qualities from them and still strive to emulate others.
I miss you so much, Daddy. I love you and still need you. Please stay ever near and watch over the ones that you left behind. I know that you have work to do now, but remember us and how much we love you. I’m grateful that you will always be my Daddy. I thank Heavenly Father for eternal families. Now I just have to work hard so I can be in the same wonderful place alongside you when I leave this life.
Love,
Your Little Christie
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